I am really trying to stay upbeat, positive and not allowing this deep sadness to take over my mind and feelings. At times it is not hard at all, but there are days when the sadness is something I can't control and I believe that it is at this time I need to allow it to run it course and see what happens. But also being ever vigilant of what I am feeling and not allowing myself to drop too deeply into that dark abyss. I've worked too hard in the last few weeks to allow myself to do such a thing. Life is just too maleable to allow myself to wallow in sadness that has no presidence over my life...I will not allow this to happen to me if I can help it. It is so much better to push this sadness away and live in the positive, seeing the good that is in my life; The love of my husband, my kids and my dog that is always by my side. To see them so positive by my side, my pillars of bricks that are always so steadfast and on my side. This battle which I have taken to work on my happiness is due mainly because I see how much they do to make my days easier, so why can't I do the same for them, and be here for them 100% and at the same time work on myself...